The people who are closest to me all recognize the same “weakness” – I find it difficult to say “No”. It is especially difficult when the situation is one entirely within my reach to make a significant on – for what I consider an insignificant sacrifice.
Time (and paying greater attention to the life of Christ), however, has taught me that the power to change a situation is neither excuse nor reason enough to do so! There are a number of occasions where Jesus said “no” even though He was more than able to say “yes”.
“The Lazarus Incident” as I call it, is simply one example of Jesus saying “no” to friends when everything seems to point to “yes” being the “better” response – but He needed to teach those of us with the power to change a situation how to say “no”. He needed to demonstrate that greater than the satisfaction we get from knowing that our friends run to us for help, and we have that power to help them – is their recognition that the true source of their help is God. Even more than this, that our choosing to say “no” can point not only the friend in need, but us as well, away from our own power and towards Him and His almighty power.
So I’m going to practice saying “no” – I’m certain there are times when I’ll be TOO good at it, as well as times when I won’t be good enough – but I’m choosing to trust Him whose power can change a “no” into a “yes” and vice versa to direct me.
Friend: “Hey GK, could you … for me by 5pm?”
GK: “uh… Nope 
”
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Psalm 68:3 (NIV) reads: “But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful.”
I think this is something that both the “ultra-liberal” (sometimes called carnal) and “super-conservative” (sometimes called legalistic) Christians miss, and miss badly. In my opinion, happiness is really about the absence of sorrow as we experience our immediate surroundings – it’s those moments into minutes that complaints have no place in our thoughts; it’s that moment that a young man looks deep into his partner’s eyes and sees his wife… not the woman he lives with – but his wife; that moment you first hear “Mommy” or “Daddy” – or when you see that first toothless smile… that yet fragile state of mind.
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By now most of us are somewhat familiar with the idea of the 80/20 rule: in economics it’s “20% of the people have 80% of the wealth”; in management it’s “80% of the problems are caused by 20% of the people”; in relationships (according to “Why Did I Get Married”) it’s “people leave someone for their 20% of imperfection even though they’re 80% perfect”… the 80/20 rule is everywhere, or can be applied everywhere – including in Christendom!
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There’s the tendency to criticize the Jewish people during their time in the desert, but I’ve found that it’s always so much easier to see the speck in the other person’s eye while looking past the 2′x4′ in our own. The “prosperity gospel”; the chants of “Your next in line for your blessing” and the other “words of reassurance” speak clearly to the fact that we have long hidden and made acceptable the very same attitude we criticize the Jews for.
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I recently did a series on the Fruit of the Holy Spirit, and have had the privilege of a running dialogue with my pastor about strategies to bring out the evidence of these fruit in the church – not just the various individuals that comprise the church, but our local church as an entity in and of itself. Being “well learned” in research methodology amongst other things, I initiated the dialogue with lofty verbiage and thought pertaining to conceptualization and operationalization and validity and reliability of measures, etc. etc. etc. – and quite smugly rested assured that I had proven myself an expert and thus wrested the necessary respect to actually begin to share my points.
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